


Our Mutual Exasperation Will Not Be the End of Us

by asianwest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Avengers (2012), Liberal use of the word 'fuck', M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 08:35:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asianwest/pseuds/asianwest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Frostiron Fest Gift Request #04, prompts one and two!</p><p>"Sometimes, I just want to hit him."<br/>"Put that back where it came from, or so help me."</p><p>Post-Avengers Frostiron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Mutual Exasperation Will Not Be the End of Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [I_need_aspirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_need_aspirin/gifts).



> Coulson was right. Loki lacked conviction to rule Midgard because  
> 1) he didn't want to rule Midgard,  
> 2) he wanted a way back to the Nine Realms after getting lost in the Void,  
> 3) he wanted to play with the Tesseract without Odin's influence, and  
> 4) invading Midgard with an alien army sounded _fun_.
> 
> And Thanos could go fuck himself, thank you very much.
> 
> Getting captured was all part of his plan, of course. After a highly publicized trial on Asgard and hefty reparations, Loki was recognized as a prince of both Asgard and Jotunheim. Since then, he had been traveling the Nine Realms, amusing himself and causing chaos wherever he went – with no deaths or permanent property damage, amazingly enough. Finally, he settled on Midgard. He still did whatever he wanted without pause – in this case:
> 
> Tony Stark.
> 
> That's a terrible summary. Here's a better one:
> 
> Tony and Loki fight. Tony and Loki get mad. Loki leaves to cool his heels. Tony is upset, insert Tony!feels. Loki is upset, insert Loki!feels. Loki goes back to Tony. They have make-up sex. Insert porn and feels YAY LET'S GO! \o/

It was a brilliant, cloudless spring morning. Tony Stark – billionaire, philanthropist, genius extraordinaire and not a morning person at all – was wide awake and alert. In fact, he was fiddling listlessly with a repulsor casing while reading Stark Industry contracts. To all appearances, it seemed like a typical, oddball Tony Stark morning, albeit one of the rarer ones where Tony was awake and attending to paperwork before 9 AM, of course, except for the fact that Tony was fuming. Normally a clear, cerulean sky lifted his mood. However, on this day, the serenity _of the day_ seemed to be laughing at him, a “fuck you” to his ill temper.

 _Well, fuck you too,_ Tony thought. _Fuck you, fuck everyone, and fuck that ice-cold pretentious impossible alien prince extra hard. He is not here and I sure as hell won't let him ruin my day._

Vow made, he grimly started going through the pile of paperwork before him.

 

“Hey.”

Tony almost dropped his papers in surprise. As he saw who it was, his scowl turned into a grin.

“Hey, Pep! I'm almost done; this is the last contra – is that coffee? Please tell me it's coffee. It _is_ coffee, isn't it? I love you. You are the most wonderful person on this planet, Pep. Ah, let me take that load from you. Mmm. You always know the best time to drop by. What can I do without you, Pep?”

Pepper laughed. “Well, you can always scoot over so I can sit down.”

“Oh, right, right,” Tony muttered absentmindedly. He moved over a few inches, then continued to leaf through the last contract. “This reminds me – have we talked about the supplier from Germany? I was thinking that it doesn't make sense for us to receive parts from China and send the same parts to Germany a few weeks later. Remind me why we can't have a plant in Germany again? Is it import/export laws or labor laws? What about – ”

“Tony, what's wrong?” Pepper asked quietly.

“What do you mean what's wrong? I've had a good day! See, all the paperwork's done. Read and signed, every last one of them – oh shit the coffee, I shouldn't wave my arms around so much. Where's the rag? Do we even have a rag? Fuck it, it's not like this is a dress shirt anyway.” Tony sat the cup down and yanked at his shirt, using its edge to soak up the spill.

“Tony,” Pepper winced. She sighed, then tried again. “Tony. You are usually much less single-minded when it comes to company business. You're only this focused when you're avoiding something. What is it?”

“What's what? Everything's just fine. Dandy. Peachy. Perfect.”

“You know, you can lie more effectively when you are not avoiding eye contact.”

Tony looked up and stared straight into Pepper's eyes. “Nothing. Is. Wrong.”

“Then why do you look like there's something on your mind?”

“There's always something on my mind, Pep. I'm a genius. My brain is always running at full throttle, 24/7.“

“That's not what I meant.”

“That is what _I_ meant.”

“Melancholy.” Pepper decided. “That's what I feel, looking at you today.”

“Sad? Down in the dumps? Got the blues? Nope, that's not me. The only blue person around here is off the premises right now, isn't today your lucky day? You are missing the chance to say hi to his royal highass.”

“Oh,” Pepper blinked. “It's Loki.”

“That's what I just said.” Tony was all grins, bright enough to light everything except his eyes.

Pepper leaned over. She drew Tony into her arms and slowly lowered his head down onto her lap. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” Tony murmured, eyes never leaving the stack of papers.

Pepper harrumphed and ran her fingers soothingly through Tony's hair. Finally, he turned to look out the window and said, “We had another fight.”

The fingers did not stop moving.

“I was pushing his buttons again, might have said something about his father – the dead blue one, not the living, half-blind one. I don't even remember what I said now but you know how sensitive he still is about the whole frozen Smurf thing, right? He said something about Howard in reply and we both said words we didn't mean and it got ugly.”

Tony stared at the sky for a long time, like the spotless cerulean canvas held the answers he was looking for. Eventually, he continued.

“I knew I said something wrong when his face turned blank. You know, his public face? I tried to apologize but it wouldn't have worked. He wouldn't have accepted. I'm one of the smartest guys on the planet for fuck's sake, but it's been more than a year and I still haven't figured out how this whole Ass-guarding honor whatever works. Sometimes I wish we could duke it out instead. I just want to hit him a few times, break some bones, get hit back, get some bones broken. Then he could magic me better in no time and avoid this whole _feelings_ business.”

He closed his eyes.

“You know me, Pep. I start it more than half of the time so it's not like I don't deserve what's coming. But he never hits me even when I'm being the most annoying fuck in the world. I can tell he wants to, but he never does. He cares, I know. He doesn't want to cause me pain but the words hurt, too.”

Tony turned back to the stack of papers.

“I can tell he's trying to not let what I say get to him. He knows I don't know all the rules, that I'm not trying to 'impeach' his honor or whatever it is that my words hit. It's _hard_ to not take what I say as insults when I inadvertently put my foot in my mouth. I get it. I'm glad he's letting his feelings out instead of holding them in because it's better than bottling them up and exploding when the pressure gets too much. And it's been getting much better. Honestly. We've been having less and less of these 'honor' spats. But why is there no better way for us to let our feelings out than this? Why does it have to _hurt_ so much?”

The fingers stopped moving.

“Do you regret being involved with him?”

Tony looked up at Pepper, eyes pained.

“No. _Never_. His brain is a crazy bag of cats but he's a _fun_ bag of cats. I love you, Pep. We tried and it didn't work because our worldviews are too different. But Loki and me, we both share the obsessive drive to push the envelope and take calculated risks that seem deranged to anyone else. We both have our own lives and we can't be with each other all the time – thank god for that, because we'd have driven each other nuts and broken the universe if we had to be together for so long without breaks – but I can't imagine a world without him in it ever again.”

Tony took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Wow, I sound like a melodramatic lovesick teenager. Okay. I can totally imagine life without Loki. No more watching Loki's whole face light up when he talks about magic theory. No more magic/science hybrid experiments. No more expensive, one-of-a-kind equipment destroyed by a curious, super-strong, thousand-year-old kid. But, Pep,” Tony's voice cracked, “I can't imagine anyone else filling the hole Loki leaves behind if he's gone. I can't imagine how I can stand to live the the rest of my life if Loki is not there. There is no one else I want to spend my days with. Loki is chaos, but he is worth it. _Every single moment_.”

“Good.” Pepper's fingers started moving again. “Now, can you remember everything you just said?”

“Y-yeah.” The breath in was rattly, but the breath out was much stronger, more even. A determined look settled upon Tony. “Yes, I can remember it.”

Pepper smiled and helped him back upright. “What were you saying about the supplier from Germany?”

“Pep...” Tony turned his shoulder around and hugged her fiercely. “You always know exactly how to say the words I need to hear. Go get something nice from my account. A new pair of shoes. Or that pearl necklace you've been eyeing. Or ear cuffs – there are some amazing designs out there. You can have elf ears or miniature dragons curled around your ears. With and without piercings. Whatever you want.”

Pepper turned her head and gave Tony a dry peck on his cheek. “You don't need to worry yourself, Tony. That's what friends are for. Now, those contracts?”

Tony startled, then a small smile appeared – one that did not fail to light up his eyes. “This started because I was brainstorming wider applications of the arc reactor again. Air-travel is expensive and leaves a _huge_ carbon footprint. The arc reactor is nowhere ready to power aircraft yet, so I was thinking about other ways we can increase efficiency, reduce cost and reduce our impact on the environment while arc reactor powered planes are in development...”

Though the sun was well past the zenith – it was just about to shake hands with the trees in Central Park, in fact – the room seemed infinitely brighter somehow.

 

Meanwhile, in Asgard, the training halls were filled with the sounds of metal meeting metal.

“You are pathetic,” growled one of the pair of fighters. He swung his lance upward diagonally in a sharp arc. His opponent deflected the blow just in time to avoid a cut to the chin.

“You are slow.” _Clang._ “Unimaginative.” _Thud._ “Can't you hit harder than this?”

The opponent jumped back, then yelled and charged. The lance-wielder simply planted his weapon into the ground and danced away from the incoming blow. “Even Midgardian monkeys can do better than you!” he mocked.

“Then why are you here, Loki?”

Loki grinned. He yanked out his lance and jabbed it at his opponent's heart. The move missed its intended target but the lance managed to shear off strands of jet-black hair.

“Dear Sif, is a Prince of Asgard not allowed to hone his skills in weaponry in the training halls any longer?” Loki exclaimed in fake horror. “Please, do inform my dense brother. I fear anything less than an explicit command will fail to penetrate his thick skull.”

Sif scoffed. She steadied her grip and started circling Loki, searching for an opening. “Have you forgotten our last thousand years together? I _know_ you, Loki. I know you are not above using insults to get what you want. And this? Our fight?” She gestured with her sword arm. “This isn't what you _really_ want.”

“Oh? Do tell. What _is_ it that I really want, Lady Sif?”

“Your mortal.” She rolled her eyes. “Admit it, you just want to strike him. Only the Norns know how you two stand each other. You bring out the worst in each other, I do swear. You can do better than someone so – ” Sif scrunched her nose “ – _argr_.”

“You dare insult him?” Loki snarled. “Tony Stark is worth a thousand of you! His battle prowess and intellect are both above yours, _lady_ warrior. Do you truly stand by what you said?”

Sif eyed Loki warily.

“And what if I do?”

“Then I challenge you to holmgang in the place of my consort, Anthony Edward Stark,” Loki said expressionlessly.

Sif sighed. “Loki, I will not play this game any longer. Stop taking your problems out on others and face them yourself.”

“Must I remind you that an insult upon my consort is an insult to _me_ as well? You wish to leave a Prince of Asgard with no opportunity to defend his honor?”

“That was not what I said, _Prince_. It was not your consort's honor which was damaged. It was _yours_. And by your consort, no less,” she laughed. “Seek your holmgang with him, not I.”

Loki's glare was cold enough to make Niflheim seemed warm in comparison. “If you are so smart, you should know that I cannot spar with Stark. His mortal body is too easily injured by the requirements of holmgang to survive without permanent damage.”

As she heard that, Sif stopped walking and leaned down on her sword.

“I apologize. You do have a heart, Loki,” she grinned up at him.

Loki's face was a deadly blank. “We are done,” he said flatly. With a wave of a hand and a faint shimmer of green, Loki looked as though he never stepped foot in the training hall that day. With another shimmer of green, he disappeared.

Sif huffed. “Idiot,” she muttered fondly. Grabbing a rag from the corner, she started cleaning her gear. And the tiny wisp of a smile that tugged from the corner of her lips stayed there for the rest of the day.

 

The sun's warm glow had long been replaced by the faint artificial luminescence escaped from inefficient street lamps and office buildings. The SI contracts had been put away for hours now, a bottle of Martell Cordon Bleu XO in their place. The fingers of the hand holding the half-filled glass ran absentmindedly up and down the stem as Tony gazed out the window. Though he had been nursing the drink since Pepper left for the day, the amount of alcohol in the glass had not changed.

Eventually, a shadow appeared next to his seat, staring out at the same scenery as Tony. He would not have noticed the change if he hadn't already been sitting in the same place for hours, every single shadow long since etched into memory. After some silent minutes, Tony stretched and leaned into the back of the sofa.

“Hey,” he said wistfully. “I didn't think you were coming back tonight.”

“Tony.” the shadow's reply was stiff. “I apologize for my words earlier today.”

“You're forgiven. I know you didn't mean what you said but it was not okay for you to hurt me like this.”

The silence stretched on for some moments longer.

“Let me make it up to you,” the shadow said, at last.

“Why? In a few days we will have another shit-filled fight and do the same old song and dance again. We'll exchange words, hurt each other, then go our separate ways to nurse our wounds.” Tony paused. “Why can't you at least tell me which buttons I'm not supposed to press?”

“It's... complicated.”

“Of course it is.” Tony snorted. “Your entire high-assed self is complicated. Tell me something I don't know.”

Loki stepped around the sofa and sat down next to Tony. “You remember that Asgard is made of magic?”

“Yeah.”

“And that words have power?”

“Yep, that too.”

“Telling you which words hurt me is like carving them into my very self.”

“Is this one of those 'if I pretend this is not true then it will never be true' things?”

“Something like that, yes,” Loki answered. “It depends on many factors, such as the beliefs of those who are within hearing distance of the words. There are those not within hearing distance but are aware of those words as well, including the Norns and Yggdrasil herself.”

“Oh shit. Is this why Thor is such a bad liar?”

“Well...” Loki paused and thought over his words carefully before speaking again. “Thor has great power, both as the heir apparent and as the God of Thunder. As a child, he was not as adept at perceiving minute changes in magic as the rest of the royal family, so he learned to be forthright after certain childhood incidents.”

Tony turned to look at Loki, puzzled. “I can't imagine Thor ever lying, let alone having his lies backfire. What did he do?”

“He did not like our riding instructor and tried to escape our riding lesson by saying, and I quote, 'the fields are on fire,'” Loki answered ruefully.

“So? What's so bad about that? 'The fields were on fire' is an outrageous lie that even idiots can see through. The fields were on fire? Wait, no. The field _are_ on fire - please tell me he didn't!”

Tony's disbelief could not stop Loki's words.

“Oh yes, he _did_. Our riding instructor and I felt the shift in magic immediately, and we tried to get Thor to change his wording. But Thor thought our desperation was just us keeping him from skipping out on the class, so he became even more adamant about how _right_ he was. By the time he finally realized something was amiss, the fire was large enough to spread to nearby hamlets.”

Tony winced. “Yeah. I get it. I shouldn't press your buttons.”

“No, you do not have to watch yourself around me,” Loki supplied. He started to create a glowing hologram of Yggdrasil and the nine realms connected to it in demonstration. “You are non-magical. Your words do not weigh upon Yggdrasil the same way my words and Thor's words do.”

“But I can help you find other ways to release your anger so you don't have to leave all the time at least.”

“You do not have to. You have already been of great help, Tony. You are making me face truths I cannot bear to look at myself. You are forcing me to think about old ideas anew instead of taking offense and calling for holmgang immediately. My heart is lighter now than it has been in a long time. Never doubt that you have to be anything other than yourself around me, Tony Stark.”

Tony snickered. “Your flattery isn't enough to make me forget what happened, you know, but...” He nudged Loki with one knee. “It _is_ a pretty good remind of why you're called Silvertongue.”

Loki smiled wryly and finally turned to look at Tony. “It is not the _only_ reason I am named Silvertongue”

“Cat got your tongue? That retort is as old as the Vikings, I'll bet.” Tony smirked.

“Yours isn't any better.”

“No, that's true.” Tony's expression softened as he continued. “But feeling your wicked tongue having its way with me will never get old.”

“Oh?” Loki raised an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

Tony shrugged. “If that is your wish, your Highness.”

Loki hummed in thought. Then, with two steps, he was between Tony's knees. Bearing his weight on Tony's thighs, he slowly sank down to his knees.

“If I may,” Loki paused to lick his lips, “I'd like to let my actions show how much you mean to me.”

“Gimme your best shot, Bambi. You got a lot to make up for.”

“Oh yes,” Loki breathed, eyes dark. With a short dance of his fingers, Tony's fly was opened magically and his cock was bared to the cold air. Without breaking eye contact, Loki lowered his head to take Tony's cock in his mouth. His tongue dashed forward to flick around the tip of Tony's penis, just light enough to be felt.

“You tease,” Tony said with a glitter of amusement. “That's no Silvertongue. It's more like Feathertongue. You can do better.”

The corners of Loki's eyes wrinkled. With a hum, Loki started swirling his tongue around the tip instead.

“Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Fuuuuuck. Yeeeeees. More, damn it. Can't you suck too?”

Loki stopped moving. Tony's cock fell out, a thin tendril of saliva connecting it Loki's lips.

“Why, I thought you wanted to experience my 'silver' tongue.”

“I do, I do, but I know you can use your tongue while you are sucking too.”

“Infuriating mortal, you should have said so earlier,” Loki replied. With a dip of his head, Tony's cock was enveloped by a delicious heat. A wicked tongue then stroked the underside of his cock before it wrapped around it and _squeezed_.

“Oh God, Loki!”

Loki's eyes glittered. The tongue squeezed in rhythm and soon had Tony shooting cum straight down Loki's throat. Loki released Tony's cock with a pop and dragged him down the sofa, only to press his thighs back up to lick Tony's rim.

Tony stared at Loki in abject terror. “No, Loki, not here! My back! Bed, bed!”

Loki chuckled and said in mock horror, “But you're younger than me!” Still, he relented and teleported them to Tony's monstrous excuse for a bed – both naked. This time, he licked and nipped and teased and sucked and soon had Tony writhing in the sheets. Suddenly, he moved his body up to Tony's chest instead to lick and flick Tony's nipples with his tongue.

“Fuck you, Loki, you miserable tease!”

“Why are you displeased?” Loki raised an eyebrow in question. “I am merely showing you how multiply talented my tongue is.”

“I get your point. Now get back to my ass.”

“Of course. My tongue shall be pleased to continue.”

“Are you trying to drive me out of my mind? Fuck me. Please.”

“Is that truly what you want, Stark?”

“YES!”

“Well then.” Loki said. He moved Tony upright then slowly, slowly lowered him down to meet his own, and larger, cock.

“Can't you move any faster?” Tony ground out from between his teeth.

“I have no wish to break you.”

“I'm not some – some inexperienced virgin.” Then Tony gasped. “And you bottomed out already so can you move? Please please please?”

Loki simply smirked and lifted Tony clear off of his cock. And held him there without moving.

“What are you doing?”

“Delayed gratification,” Loki answered. “I have heard this technique is very successful in obtaining greater satisfaction from–“

“Your. Cock.” Tony growled. “Put it back where it came from, or so help me I'll make a dildo that'll–“

Tony was slammed back down to the hilt. His back arched, mouth dropped open in a wide O, eyes unfocused in rapture.

Loki chuckled and leaned down to suck at Tony's clavicle. “I told you it was better to wait.”

Tony gasped. “Yeah... yeah. It is, but can you _move_ now?”

“Your wish is my command,” Loki replied. He continued to suck on Tony's neck while holding Tony still, his cock hitting Tony's sweet spot over and over again without fail. Soon, neurons sang and a kaleidoscope of colors burst behind Tony's eyes. The symphony of the universe drowned out the too-loud drumming of his heart and his airless gasps. And that was all Tony was aware of for a long time.

 

When Tony finally came to in Loki's arms, he immediately realized the pole between his thighs was Loki's hard-on. He tried to grab it but Loki swatted his hands away.

“Aw, c'mon, big guy, why won't you let me touch you?”

“Today is about you, Tony.”

“But I can't enjoy myself if you are still hard.”

“Your pleasure is enough,” Loki answered.

“How about fuck no?” Tony turned around to glare at him. “It's not the same thing at all.”

Loki sighed. “You owe me no favors. This is simply me giving pleasure to my love. You.”

“No. You're not some call-boy who's only here to get me off. You are more than a bed warmer.”

Loki kissed Tony softly on his head. “That may be so, but I do not deserve pleasure today.”

“...The fuck are you even on? At least let me help you get rid of your wood so it doesn't poke me in my sleep.”

Loki simply waved his hand. At once, his cock laid flaccid again upon Tony's sheets.

“You... You dunce!” Tony yelled. He grabbed both of their cocks with his left hand.

“Tony!” Loki tried to push Tony away but Tony pulled them together with his right arm instead.

“I. Want. You. To. Come!” Tony said between jerks of his hand. “Stop hiding yourself. You deserve to be loved, too!”

Loki gasped as his magic failed.

“Yes!” Tony punched the air in victory with his right fist as his left one was still busy with the two cocks. With a few more quick jerks, Loki shuddered and came.

Tony's cock twitched twice in sympathy.

When Tony moved his hand down toward Loki's balls, Loki stopped him with a hand.

“It is enough, Tony. Thank you.” And he pecked Tony softly on the lips.

Tony stared into Loki's eyes.

“Do you regret loving me?” He asked at length.

“No. Never!” Loki was aghast.

“Even though you cannot stay in Asgard permanently because of me?”

“Why should I regret that?” Loki said wonderingly. “It is long past time for Thor to learn to _think_ by himself for once. It is well enough that he is now attending The Thing regularly, but he still needs to learn to decide whose counsel is worth listening to and why.”

Tony's gaze did not waver. Loki sighed, then continued.

“I do regret that I continue to hurt you regularly. But I would rather we have our spats and the clearing of the air that comes after, than to have our wounds fester in silence only to grow into the vilest poisons. It is difficult to shake off conditioning learned from hundreds of your life-times. Still, you should not have to dance around me, afraid of my reaction.”

“That goes two ways, Reindeer Games. I don't want you to hold back with me either. Just never hurt me enough that I can't forgive you.”

Loki cupped his hands around Tony's face.

“I, Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim, swear upon Yggdrasil that I shall sooth every pain and heal every wound I inflict upon Anthony Edward Stark. So mote it be.” Then he exhaled.

The entire room seemed to let out its breath with Loki.

“Wow.” Tony looked around the room suspiciously. “That. Is some freaky shit right there. It was like the whole universe listened in on you. Wait. It did, didn't it?”

Loki smiled.

“O-kay. Now, I don't know how magic works with whatever you just did, but don't break your promise or Pepper will kill you.”

“Oh yes,” Loki rolled his eyes. “I'm sure she will quarter me alive then hang me with my own entrails.”

“Ew, you sure know how to ruin the mood.”

“I _am_ the God of Mischief, after all.”

“And I am the God of Sass.”

Loki huffed. “Enough. Sleep, Stark.”

And Tony did, with the beating of Loki's heart in his ear. Loki soon fell asleep too, lulled by Tony's even breaths.

Though both of them knew there would be more fights and more pain in the future – it was in their nature to throw jabs at each other, after all – they were secure in the knowledge that they would return to each other and make up for their hurts. As many times as it was necessary. And more.

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to lunabee34 for being my beta. Thank you to all my friends who gave me encouragement while I wrote this. Thank you to Frostiron Fest mods for putting the Fest together. And thank you to Gift Requester #4 - this fic would not have happened without you. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it!
> 
> To y'all who made it all the way down here:
> 
> Thank you for reading and may you have happy holidays! ♥


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